Just Stuff

I’m in a funk.

Not necessarily in a bad mood…just a weird mood. I feel like I’ve lost my momentum, like things aren’t moving forward but I lack the energy to get them moving again. Everything’s just standing still. I don’t like standing still.

Writing is frustrating me right now. I can’t seem to make this new story come together any more than I can my own life. My other novel, already drafted, still sits. Unpublished. I know it needs revised and polished and, yet, I’m reluctant to do it. Why?

I don’t know. Maybe because I’m afraid that even when I do, it still won’t be good enough? Probably. If I want to be a writer so badly, then why am I standing in my own way so much?

I’ve been researching college degrees online today. I’ve been thinking about it way longer than that. If there is one thing I regret in my life, it’s not going to college. I feel like the poster child for the need for continuing education. I feel like I’m missing something, but do I want the degree, or just the life experience? It seems like all the courses are geared toward medical or technical or business. I’m not interested in any of those things.

So what is it?

I’m being totally honest here (plus I’ve had a couple of glasses of wine); I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall. I don’t know if it’s an age thing, a hormonal thing or something else. But please tell me I’m not the only one who’s felt this way or else I’m really going to regret this post in the morning when the wine’s wore off.



Filed under Writings and Ramblings

3 responses to “Just Stuff

  1. I didn’t go to university either, Christine, and I’ll be 50 this year…I did a year of community college, and dropped out to move with my ex-husband when he got a job 2000 miles away from home. I tried to get into a communications program here about ten years ago, but they wouldn’t recognize my training in broadcast journalism and my 12 years in non-profit communications and event management as worth two years of university (I had to complete the schooling in two years so that unemployment insurance would give me training benefits). I often wonder where I’d be if I had been able to go…

    Raising a virtual glass of red wine to you, Christine!


  2. Christine,

    I appreciate your honesty and yes, I often feel the way you described. I went to college but not for what I dreamed to study, creative writing. So now as a career educator, I’m finally pursuing my initial dream without the degree. I’ve decided to self-publish my imperfect book because I’m a nonfiction writer without the mega million viewer platform. Sure, I’ll probably look back and grimace, but at 51, I’ve had to let a whole lot of things go…like perfection. Thanks for the toast. It’s been a rough week for me as well.

  3. I give all three of you ladies a big virtual hug! (Group hug, come on, girls)

    I agree! Sometimes we get into that funk and a nice glass of wine or two can help or hinder, but being honest with yourself is the best thing. Let those feelings out and know that you’re not alone.

    I would seriously ask why you want to revisit the college idea. To help you get a better job? For the experience, like you mention? Just to say you did it? I think with the way the economy’s been in forcing us to get real with ourselves and find out what’s really important, IMHO pursuing your dreams should be a priority. If college is your dream, go for it! If writing is, then pursue that. If you need a pep talk about your writing, drop me line! I’m a natural-born cheerleader! 😉

    All my best!
    Arial 😉

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